MOTODIDACTIC

A fuel for thought literary moto mag.

SQUADRON COMMANDER AT THE MOTOH FAIR

I was among a few lucky experienced riders offered a unique opportunity to work as a guest test-ride guide/monitor at the 2023 Barcelona Motoh (sic.) fair. We were recruited by the TCC (Tècniques de Conducció i Control), which is a 30 year old institution comprised of professional riders/coaches, who are hired by various companies, organizations and governing bodies to help in evolution, instruction, and/or promotion of vehicles. The fair employed the TCC to be in charge of setting up and running all test rides for the motorcycle brands attending.

People signed up online or in person to test one or more bikes within time slots. A monitor took up to five people, alternately coupling monitors would take up to 10 people on the roughly 12 minute test loop. This route provided a bit of everything, from tight turns to sweepers, both up hill and down, including slow manoeuvres and possible hard accelerations, all in a ‘miniskirt’ amount of time – short enough to pique the interest; long enough to cover the subject.

The TCC accomplished grouping brands, managing time slots, tracking insurance, scheduling monitors, booking rides, checking weather, lending equipment, cleaning, charging and refuelling bikes, realigning bikes, and keeping it all smooth for four days. It was a tremendous achievement supervising six to eight groups of 10 test riders each, going out four times per hour, for seven hours a day. This was possible thanks to the quality and professionalism of the staff of the TCC. Without sounding hyperbolic, the people I was working with were literally (and I’m using ‘literally’ correctly) among the best motorbike riders and coaches in the world. Each of their motorbiking CVs reads like a fantasy wish-list of accomplishments. These people are champions, ex-champions, coaching world champions, all bordering-on-exaggerated modesty, which practically rendered them invisible or seamless, giving way and allowing all focus to go to the people signing up for test rides.

Contrasting the stratospheric competence, the meticulous organization and the exceptional level of the monitors and staff of the TCC, with the abysmal way people showed up to test motorbikes, was an eye-opener. Some people were very kind, understanding, prepared and cool; some came without equipment, not even sure what they were hoping would happen; many came to rev the crap out of bikes, or to prioritize taking pics of themselves sitting on the bikes, without really being interested in buying or how the bikes actually ride – just more of checking ‘bikes ridden’ off their list. We even had a few who came to take advantage of a free bike on which to actually learn how to ride, as there were no specific rules stopping absolute beginners from qualifying for a test ride. I was bestowed with one such child, who wobbled like a drunk trying high-heels for the first time, while stalling the bike four times in the first 500 metres. Before leaving the lot, he asked me to fire up the bike for him, to which I asked if it was his first time on a bike. He hesitated and said ‘no’, so I laughingly asked if it was his second. He said ‘yes’, and for whatever reason, I thought he was joking… He wasn’t.

On a pleasant note, it was really nice having a female monitor among us. She worked tirelessly the four days straight, arguably leading more groups than anyone else. Showing up for a ride, some guys chauvinistically asked her why she was allowed to lead test rides, to which her response after shrugging was grabbing a 300cc bike on the very ride these guys were riding supercharged units, and leaving them behind, in a subtle cloud of ‘shut-your-yap’. I enjoyed never seeing her say a single thing about the height of the bikes, despite her being short, while watching numerous guys, all taller than her, complain and sitting awkwardly on bikes.

Anecdotally, some guy waiting made a comment about ‘getting on with it’, asking why we can’t have more turnover of test rides. It forced me to admit that I might question the very same thing, had I not been on the other side of the curtain, understanding the protocols and the reasons for which they needed to be followed. Sure, the rules and structure may have somewhat slowed down the process, but considering the task of taking over 5500 people for test rides on bikes not adjusted to them, bikes they don’t know, on a route they’ve likely never ridden, with pedestrians and cyclists, bus, car and motorcycle learners in their way, the risks involved proved more than enough. I’d go as far as to say that taking any more liberties would have resulted in complete chaos.

It was a quite the display of competence to see the way the monitors balanced the situation by quietly and modestly being professionals there to help everyone enjoy their riding experience safely, coaxing them into appreciating the bike they were testing.

Without exaggeration, it was more than an honour to be asked to work alongside them, and it was fun. Since we were only told at the very last minute which brand we were taking out, and other groups would either still be out or in the process of being formed with different branded bikes, often our choice of bike to lead with would be quite spontaneous and unexpected. There’s simply no time to really adjust the bike more than to quickly move a mirror or both, find the controls, the clutch friction point, and go. As you’re in charge of your group, you spend a lot of time looking in your mirrors, making sure the number of people in your group hasn’t changed (well, especially that it hasn’t lessened), but are also fully aware of the never ending random obstacles that walk/ride/drive/crawl/fly/brake out in front of you. I found techniques that I might have normally gotten lazy using while riding one of my own bikes, to be of critical importance here. I refer to anticipated braking, being in the right gear, being aware of the friction point on the clutch, rear brake use, proper posture, spacial awareness, and considering plan Bs (should you need to pull over or stop).

One of my friends, a fellow invited monitor, wrote to me after getting home, telling me he was so exhausted and physically destroyed, he had trouble dismounting from his own bike – I believe he may worded it as ‘peeling himself off’ of it. I’m sure I was equally fatigued, but we all had such a good time doing something we love, sharing a passion common to all of us, that all the aches seemed inconsequential. A brilliant experience I’d gladly repeat. 

Writer:

Peter ‘Safety Bear’ Bokor

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